Saving Us

 

Many decades before DVD or VCR, we had albums to help us remember movies.  My sister and I listened to and memorized every word from the Mary Poppins album.  Our favorites were "The Nanny Song," and of course, "Spoon Full of Sugar." With popping into pictures, snapping fingers to clean, and singing about birds, what's not to love about Mary Poppins?  Well, Mr. Banks.  I never liked his role in the movie.  The magically cheerful nanny played by the talented Julie Andrews certainly didn't need a spoil sport.  The point of the movie was completely lost on me.

 

Saving Mr. Banks, the recent movie of Walt Disney and the writer of the Mary Poppins' books, tells the not so cheerful back story of the creative but lost and dysfunctional Travers Goff, a banker, and his daughter Helen and reminds us that Mary didn't pop in to save the children; she popped in to save their father. Mr. Banks, a proud gentleman leading a good life, has everything he needs; in fact,

 I'm the lord of my castle
The sov'reign, the liege!
Ah! Lordly is the life I lead!

 

Mr. Banks doesn't have much time for his kids, his subjects, but one Spring morning, Mary pops in and brings a spoon full of sugar, leaving the orderly Mr. Banks unsettled, and the words of Bert the chimney sweep cleverly help Mr. Banks see the empty life he actually leads.

You've got to grind, grind, grind
At that grindstone

For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. Matthew 18:11

When we don't understand something, like computer language, we feel unsettled.  We're lost.  We need to undertand.  When we drive for miles and hours in the wrong direction, which is my usual story, and finally realize it, we're afraid.  We're lost.  We must turn around and find our way.  Without Mary's Spring pop in making Mr. Banks feel unsettled, he would've continued being lost in his lordly life, never finding his way.

For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25

1987, Germany -Heidleburg Castle

Jesus saves me from myself and the destruction I create.  He's saving me from lording over my castle, my world,  by own rules as if I created it myself.   Do I really need to "lose my life?" Yes.  The lordly life I lead is prideful and doesn't provide fulfillment.

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. John 3:17

But this is reality, and saving me required so much more than a spoon full of sugar. I recently went to a dinner honoring dozens of individuals who gave blood to save lives. Blood is life.  My old self died with Christ on the cross.  His blood saved me.  Without His blood, I'm lost, unsettled and afraid.  Christ gives me a new life worth living.  Several beautifully written songs from Palm Sunday contained lines that offered a picture of a saved life by His blood.

It soothes my doubt and calms my fears, And it dries all my tears;
The blood that gives me strength from day to day.

What a sacrifice that saved my life.
Savior Son, Holy One, slain so I can live.

I am His and His alone;
This life is not my own,
My Jesus raised me from the grave.

 

He raised me from the grave I dug by my sins.  He sacrificed His life and shed His blood for me to be His alone, to be guided by His Spirit.  But first, I must be unsettled and fear lording my own life.  What about the many times I don't care about anyone but myself and continue grinding at the grindstone and lording over the castle? I condemn myself with the consequences, but Jesus offers mercy and forgiveness. Jesus calms and comforts and gives me strength every day.  Saving US on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice by Someone who loves us and wants our lives to be worth living.  

 Katy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Will They Say?

 

 

Focus, the personal development portion of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People course, encourages participants to create a personal mission statement.  After watching a video of a lady's 80th birthday party where guests share how they were influenced by her, we were asked two questions: How do you want to be remembered? What will they say on your 80th birthday? 

 

We're thankful he's celebrating 80 years

Born, April 9, 1934, so April 9, 2014 will be 80 years for our Dad, Ed Brown.  That's a long life of memories, influences, and advice.  A difficult but valuable lesson Dad taught us growing up was Life Isn't Fair.  After uttering the famous childhood words "That's not fair," his response was always, "Give me the definition of fair.  How would you make that situation fair?"  This usually stumped us, of course, because our complaints were often how we thought we should have something someone else had.  As wonderful as life can be, it certainly isn't fair.  Never has been. Never will be.  Realizing that has helped us many times.

 

We watched Dad work long hours as a basketball and golf coach and a social studies teacher. We didn't have luxuries, but we had what we needed.  He taught us to be loyal to our employers, and if others didn't do their jobs, we still needed to do ours.  He also taught us to be coachable, to learn from others and from our own mistakes. 

 

Birthday parties are usually celebrated with family, but we did something different this year. When developing a mission statement in Focus, participants list roles: parent, friend, spouse, teacher, sibling, etc.  For each role, participants list how they want to be remembered in that role: as a mother, I want to be understanding; as a wife, I want to be patient, etc.  The role Dad is most known for is also his passion, teacher.  Although he retired as a public school educator after 35 years, he continues to teach at Concord Baptist Church, so we celebrated Dad's 80 years with the men in his Sunday school class and their wives.

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith;  or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; Romans 12:6-7





Bill & Dad

Bill Caldwell, also an educator, met Dad when he started teaching at T.L. Hanna High School in 1966.  They've served together as deacons and teachers at Concord, but most importantly, they've been friends for almost 50 years.

 

Betty Crump shared Dad's concern and kind words many years ago to her daughter, who was his student, and his encouragement to them after her death.  Most recently, she appreciated the joy on Mom and Dad's faces when she returned to church after  neurosurgery.  Betty also said Bobby will always be in Dad's class.

 

Several men reminded us of Dad's love of Southern Gospel and his relentless attempts to play a C.D. every Sunday on a devise he cannot seem to operate. Dad taught history, so it wasn't a surprise when someone shared that Dad chases a few rabbits during class.  Don't ask a question about the Northern and Southern Kingdoms unless you want a full account of Hebrew history.  A few years ago I met Dad's friend and fellow teacher, Mark Hopkins, leaving his hospital room, and he said, "You better hurry, he's teaching the Sunday school lesson to anyone who will listen."

 

Uncle Sam Knox shared his first impressions of Dad as the too cool, know-it-all older brother of his future wife, my late aunt Glenda.  Dad also led him into officiating football, where they spent many Friday nights together and golf, where Sam finally reached his goal of beating his brother-in-law/friend.  

 

Mom said she barely knew Dad when they married, but it's been fun. At their 40th Anniversary party, her dad, my wonderfully sarcastic Daddy Luke, said, "I know Sheila and Ed were meant for each other," How sweet. "because no one else could be married to either of them."

 

How do you want others to remember you?  What will they say at your 80th birthday party? We have gifts.  We have passions.  It is how we use these gifts and passions that will be remembered.  

 

Happy Birthday, Dad,

 

Susi & Katy

 

  

 

Go to Sleep

 

Adults look forward to sleep,  and we do what we can to stay asleep.  Children do what they can to stay awake, and we do all we can to make them sleep.

It wasn't uncommon to read six or seven books to Luke, followed by singing every Baptist hymn I knew plus every verse of Just As I Am and Amazing Grace.  When he was five, we spent fifty nights learning about every state, including population, land area, state bird, state resources, etc.  For forty-two longer nights, a different president was his bedtime story.

I stood beside Hope's crib when she was a toddler and patted her bottom, rubbed her back and sang. Thinking  she was asleep,  I slowly lifted my hand from her back,  but without lifting her check or opening her eyes, she whispered, "shong," which was my signal to continue.  At the age of five, her bedtime story was simple: one book, usually about Barbie or a Princess, but the songs were complicated,  either The Bare Necessities from Jungle Book  (I only knew the chorus) or A Spoon Full of Sugar from Mary Poppins (It didn't matter that I'm an alto).

James required two or three books, and my creative Water Medley and Jesus Medley worked perfectly as lullabies in his glider rocker.  By the age of five, though, James found LOTS to do in his room, so we stayed with him until he fell asleep.

"Mommy, when are you going to leave?"

 "When you're asleep."

 After a few minutes... "I'm asleep now, you can leave."

"No, you're not."

"How will you know I'm asleep?"

"I can hear you breathing."

He closed his eyes, breathed as loudly as possible, and started the fake snore.  Nice try, Jaybird.

 

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. Psalm 23:2

 

After reading Charles Allen's God's Psychiatry many years ago, Psalm 23 became a favorite passage and eventually very real to me.

The shepherd starts the sheep grazing about 4 a.m. The sheep walk steadily as they graze; they are never still. By 10 a.m., the sun is beaming down and the sheep are hot, tired, and thirsty. The wise shepherd knows that the sheep must not drink when it is hot, neither when its stomach is filled with undigested grass. So the shepherd makes the sheep lie down in green pastures, in a cool, soft spot. The sheep will not eat lying down, so it chews its cud, which is nature’s way of digestion. Study the lives of great people, and you will find every one of them drew apart from the hurry of life for rest and reflection. Great poems are not written on crowded streets, lovely songs are not written in the midst of clamoring multitudes; our visions of God come when we stop. The Psalmist said, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). The sheep will drink only from still waters. If there are no still waters available, while the sheep are resting, the shepherd will gather up stones to fashion a dam across a small stream to form a pool from which even the tiniest lamb may drink without fear. Even while he is sleeping, the Shepherd is working to prepare for his needs tomorrow.

 

I knew the physical benefits of sleep, so I devoted many hours making my children rest their bodies for another day.   Unfortunately,  I didn't devote many hours for my own rest and stillness for spiritual health; instead, I filled my days with nonstop noise and deeds (as many distractions as possible) to avoid silence.  So, as the Psalmist promised, my Shepherd made me lie down and be still.  Starving for spiritual food, I was led to hours alone in strange stillness of cool, nourishing pastures without the usual noises hiding His voice, to reading and searching (no music or television) and an opportunity to drink water my Shepherd carefully prepared, and although it was difficult being made to STOP and REST, I'm forever grateful. I'm hardheaded and easily distracted, so I know He will do it again when necessary, for my Shepherd "restores my soul.."

 

Katy

 

 

 

 

 

Less Is More

 

I love the AT&T commercials where a grown man in suit and tie asks questions to kids, especially the one where he asks, "Which is better, more or less?" The little girl rambling on and on We Want More, We Want More definitely proves that It's Not Complicated, we really do want more. But the familiar saying Less Is More is worth discussing .

Less Is More is true in interior design, which I know absolutely nothing about.  But, luckily, I have a friend who does.  Anna Cheek, owner of Cheek Interiors, is an exceptionally talented designer, and she shared some insight about "less is more."




    www.cheekinteriors.com

 

One of the questions I have to often answer as a designer is, “How do I decorate the bookcases?” (The infamous large built-in cabinets next to fireplaces in a living room.)  If you don’t have a plan here they quickly become a magnet for every small knick-knack you have ever collected or been given in your life. When shelves or walls, or really any surface you have in your home, becomes covered with several items it can start to feel cluttered.  You might own 25 beautiful pieces of collectible pottery, but if you place them all on one shelf, none of them becomes special. They compete with one another. If I take them all down and then carefully select 3 or 4 of them to put on display, then all of a sudden their individual details become more evident. The color is more pronounced and the shape or texture becomes the focus. When there are fewer things competing for your attention, then you can truly appreciate the beauty of the selected items on the shelf.

Anna's beautiful work

Wow.  "None of them becomes special. They compete with one another. Individual details become more evident."   What is actually special to me?  Is it my focus?

He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 3:30

If I have a relationship with Christ, what is my purpose? Who is the focus?  Is life all about me or all about Christ?  If there's so much Katy, are Christ's details (love, compassion, grace, patience, forgiveness) evident? Am I trying to show what a wonderful person I am by telling what I do, or am I showing the marvelous God I serve by telling what He does?  In other words, am I competing with God?

This is a tough verse, and I believe it's a struggle for all who wish to serve Christ.  We are important; our personalities are important. We deliver an important message according to our varied talents and abilities. God requires me to be Katy, but there's a problem when His message becomes cluttered with too much of me:  my opinion, my pride, and my desires. When it's all about me, it's less about Him. 

 

There's nothing like swallowing pride, is there? It's something I'm asked to do continually because my actions and words are often in His way.  After a week of the flu in February, I returned to my daily walk in the woods with my dog.  Feeling extremely weak, stressed, and emotional, I walked and talked longer than usual, desperately trying to convince God that what I was doing was for Him, but He knew it was all about me. I reminded Him of His details I was attempting to show.  He reminded me of pronounced color and textured scars I was covering up with my own agenda.

Think about Anna's words, "when there are fewer things competing for your attention, then you can truly appreciate the beauty of the selected items on the shelf."   I know we repeat this so often, but Christ truly is beautiful.   

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17

            It's Not Complicated, we really do want more, especially of      ourselves, but more is only better when it's Him. Less of me is More of Him, more of His beauty. Is Christ our focal point?  Are we pointing men and women to ourselves, or are we pointing them to Christ?

    I want more Christ, what about you?   
     Katy

Speaking of beauty.... I haven't met anyone who doesn't think Anna is beautiful, and she reflects Christ's beauty as well. 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm OK With My Relief Picture

 

 

The picture of my waving, smiling Luke in his band uniform at the 2014 Capital One Bowl is my relief picture.  The day before at the pep rally, we heard the Mighty Sound of the Southeast play and raced to the buses to say "hello," except he wasn't at the buses. He's 21, but before I knew he was with Concocktion pep band headed to play for another group, I panicked,  It brought back a memory.

David, James and Grandma

As a high school freshman, Luke traveled with the Westside Ram Band to march before Disney's Spectro Magic parade.  This was a BIG deal for the entire family: our son, grandson, nephew, brother marching down Main Street U.S.A., the place we enjoyed as a family for many years.  We sold, bought and ate Band Fruit.  Seven excited, loyal fans flew, rented a car, stayed at a Disney resort, bought park passes, overpriced food and frivolous souvenirs at Walt Disney World in not so sunny Florida to see Luke march past Cinderella's castle.

It rained all day on Friday and again on Saturday while Luke, wearing soaked shoes, led his friends around Disney World stopping long enough for a coke and fries, so when they arrived at Magic Kingdom four hours prior to the parade, we received a "your son isn't feeling well" call from a chaperone.  Thirty minutes later, we received another call, "we're taking him to first aid."   

We arrived at first aid to find him gray, clammy, shivering, and miserable. Gatorade and crackers didn't help, but when we took his shoes and socks off, we saw why.  I assumed they were feet because swollen white prunes usually aren't attached to ankles.  But, I had a GRAND idea.  First aid's back door opened to the parade "step off" spot.  Luke could rest under a blanket, eat more crackers, drink more Gatorade, and dress in his band uniform.  Brilliant. I called chaperones who were with the band in another section of the park. Sorry, he can't dress in first aid.  According to Disney, it will RUIN the atmosphere.  As a band member, he's part of the MAGIC.  WHAT?  Sitting with my kids in the waiting room, my sister, a former Disney cast member, informed me that Disney doesn't bend the rules EVER.  "We'll see about that."   I ran through Adventure land in the rain with my flip phone and terrible service while David stayed with Luke.  Even for a sick 15 year old and his frantic mother running around in a storm, they didn't.  I couldn't even have his "part of the magic" shoes we owned.

Susi, Hope, Katy
A rare sunny day

One hour until step off.  Pacing under an awning while a Disney guest spilled soda on my shoe, I called the band director begging for some way to bring barefooted Luke to the band.  "Are you trying to make him well so he can march?"  Of course I was. I'm a mom, and seven of us flew down here.   "Oh, no. I think he's much better."  The nurse suggested a wheelchair. What better way for the band director to see he's fit to march. No thanks.  30 minutes until step off.  Thunder, lightening, and April hail delayed the parade.  So, I made one last frantic call to the band director, and he really wanted Luke to march.  "What can we do?"  With an exhausted voice, I cried, "My son. sniff...Just needs.sniff....  Some shooooooes."  20 minutes prior to step off.  Mark, an unforgettable Disney cast member, drove a golf cart to first aid and took Luke to his band.    

Did I enjoy the parade? No. I waited impatiently expecting Luke to collapse on the front row after I promised the director he was fine. David and I followed the band with cameras and anxious hearts to the end of the parade where we saw Mark,  who had played trombone in high school, offer a smile and a thumbs up.  Luke was fine.  Well, he actually had strep throat, but he marched. He was OK.

 

He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.   Isaiah 40:29

You have granted me life and favor, And Your care has preserved my spirit. Job 10:12

My relief picture reminds me that we don't walk around ecstatic every day, but we're OK; we're still standing.  Maybe not running a marathon, but well and strong enough to work. Not living in a mansion, but having a bed. Maybe not feeling our best, but we feel His Favor.  Maybe not at the top of our game, but surviving and marching to the end of the parade without fainting. Maybe we ride on a bus for 12 hours with a fever and marvelous chaperones take care of us. We make it home and we bounce back with renewed strength. 

 

Relieved & OK,

Katy

By the way, they sell socks, shoes and DRY clothes at the gift shop next to first aid where I stood frantically begging for shoes.

The marvelous chaperones were Carrie Motes, Lynn Guthrie, Maryellen Minniear, and Paula McAbee.  The band director, Shane Vickery, was responsible for Luke's and the entire band's welfare.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If and When Shoes

 

1989 Me with Allyson
at my bridesmaid luncheon

Little girls love to dress up in fancy dresses, borrow mommy's purse and wear her shoes.  Allyson, my best friend growing up, and I looked so stylish dressed up in my mom's high heels one day.  It didn't matter that the shoes were twice as big as our feet.  We clunked and shuffled out the front door headed to Allyson's house to find more stuff. Stomp, stomp across the porch and down the step until CRASH! Allyson flew to the yard dragging her knee and shin across the rough edges of the concrete steps.  Along with grownup jewelry, she wore mercuricome and Band-Aids as accessories that day, but we found our own shoes that fit and walked down the street to the purses in her mom's closet in search of chewing gum and nickels, and then to the station wagon to pick our kids up from school.

 

As a grownup, I'm supposed to wear my own shoes or at least shoes that fit and are comfortable, so wearing a new pair of shoes on a 1.2 mile walk around EPCOT wasn't a good idea. Imagine walking a mile in a pair of shoes you've never walked a mile in. I probably should've learned a lesson about wearing my own shoes and walking a mile in shoes that have been walked in first.

 



Ready to become a REAL mommy

If those kids were mine, I'd make them behave in the shoe department.  When I'm old and can't take care of myself, I'll be more than happy in assisted living and won't complain about being there or the shoes my daughter brings me. Dependent clauses beginning with If and When are often joined with statements that haven't happened, so the outcome is unknown. Do I know for certain what I'll do when I'm older? No.  Did I know what kind of parent I'd be before I had kids? No. I only had an idea

 

I've walked many miles in my own shoes: raising three kids, teaching, working retail, being the youngest child, being married,  attending a small college, having A.D.D., being depressed,  writing a blog, and so on.  The list of shoes I haven't walked in is much longer: retiring, divorcing, raising an only child, raising a special needs child, being a nurse, working in a bank, owning a business, losing a home, living in a wheelchair, coaching a team, serving in the military, burying a parent or a child, and so on. Do I know what I would do If or When?  No. I only know what it's like to raise Luke, Hope, and James. I only know what it's like to be married to David (bless his heart).

  

It's tough remembering that I haven't walked in different shoes but easy to have ideas of what I would do in those shoes. Sometimes, my If and When clauses are about situations, but too often they're about others and how they're walking in their shoes. I couldn't possibly count the times I commented on how I would do things differently If and When I wore their shoes, only to find myself crashed, wounded, and blistered. Luckily, God doesn't count them either because I'm forgiven for those times.

 

How can I know what I'll do When I'm a grandmother or a mother-in-law, when my daughter moves away, or when I have to give up the house and yard I love? And, what do I do with If? I can empathize with people whose shoe list resembles mine, but every situation is different.  I have friends with three kids, but they're not my kids.  I have friends who teach, but we have different students. I know many who are depressed, but I'm not living their lives.  Lately, I've realized there's only one way I can know what I'll do When, or what I can tell friends If they ask about their If and When.

My son, eat honey because it is good, And the honeycomb which is sweet to your taste; So shall the knowledge of wisdom be to your soul; If you have found it, there is a prospect, And your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 24:13-14
 

 The LORD remains near to all who call out to him, to everyone who calls out to him sincerely. Psalm 145:18

Call on God. Walk with Him. Search for His truth, His wisdom. Unfortunately, there are circumstances I can't control, but I can constantly work on my walk with God.  I've only walked in my own shoes, but so has He. If and When I work on this relationship, when I'm walking with Him and learning His wisdom, I don't have to worry about the When Shoes I haven't worn yet or the If shoes I may never wear. He walked in your shoes and knows your If and When before they happen.

 

 

 

 

Put your own shoes on and walk with God,

 

Katy

 

Speaking of shoes....

Sole Hope not only puts shoes on the feet of children in Africa, they also treat the heartbreaking medical condition of the parasite chigoe flea, or jigger. Take a look at my friend Cindy O'Brien's blog about this amazing ministry. www.cindyobrien78.blogspot.com Sole Hope's website is www.solehope.com

Dawn Staley, Olympic athlete and women's basketball coach at University of South Carolina, started the national charity Innersole that puts shoes on children in need. www.innersole.org