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| Luke |
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| James |
My favorite month is a month of birthdays. October 2014 is the month my oldest son, Luke,
turns 22 and my youngest son, James, turns 15, and their mom turns something or
another, the oldest she has EVER been. Even though I was ridiculed a few times, I was
THAT mom that kept her little boys in baby blue and overalls for as long as
possible. At the age of two, I didn't
consider them little men; they were my babies, and I knew as soon as they wore
khaki pants and knit shirts for the first time, they would resemble men in
their attire from that day forward, and I was never ready for that. Once those
years pass, they'll never wear footed pajamas again.
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| James |
Each October, I love them more but don't know too many moms
who don't miss holding their babies and being kissed by them in public without
embarrassment. Each October is one year
removed from rocking them to sleep, holding their hands, helping them set up the
train track, reading bedtime stories, baking special birthday cakes, and watching
them sleep with a stuffed animal or blanket.
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| James |
What I miss about having little boys (and a little girl),
besides them thinking I actually have some sense, is their innocence, not
physical or legal, but
* freedom from guilt or sin through being
unacquainted with evil : blameless
* freedom from deceit
* lack of worldly
experience, sophistication, or knowledge
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| Luke |
Baby boys in baby blue. What could be more blameless or free from
deceit? As babies, my sons' worlds consisted of people who loved and protected
them. As babies, they hadn't been left
out of a crowd or bullied, failed a test, or experienced a broken heart. Nor had they mistreated anyone intentionally.
But these days are special, too.
I enjoy my sons as much as I did when they wore baby blue. Luke and I
talk about college life and football, and he lets me call him My Sonshine Man
when friends aren't around. James plays my favorite songs on his ipod for
me in the car, and he still lets me call him My Jaybird or JayJay, or any of
his other dozen nicknames. Don't worry, they don't read my blog. Through experiences, they have knowledge of
the world and make choices. Each October, the people who love them most make
fewer and fewer decisions for them as we pray about the loss of innocence and that scary
concept of free will.
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| Luke |
Robert Frost in "Nothing Gold
Can Stay" gives us a reminder of
the transience of life.
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Gold, as a
hue, doesn't hold in nature. The gold spring buds on the willow tree quickly
become leaves, and a golden sunset lasts less than an hour. Life in Eden, with its river Pishon, where
gold was found, didn't last. It quickly
sank to grief as Adam and Eve lost their innocence. Why? We
know the story of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the shrewdest creature,
and wisdom offered by the delicious fruit.
You won't
die! The serpent replied to the woman. God knows that your eyes will be opened
as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.
Genesis 3:4-5
We grow up
and become too smart for our own good, try to be our own god and rely on our
own knowledge. To grow up is to become acquainted
with evil, to sin and experience guilt. October is when I watch maple leaves
turn a rich red, then a bright gold, but as quickly as I had to pack up the
baby blue blankets and pajamas, the gold disappears. The trees are still there, however, and those
two sons are still mine. They've
experienced life, sin and guilt, for 15 and 22 years, and now their innocence,
and ours, is only found in God's wisdom, not the world's, and the saving grace
of Christ. It lasts when our innocence is gone. Grace steps in and declares us blameless.
The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair.
They are more desirable that gold, even the finest gold. Psalm 19:10
You are holy and blameless as you stand before
Him without a single fault. Colossians 1:22Baby blue and gold may not last, but Grace can stay.
Happy Birthday to my wonderful sons, Luke and James,
Mom
Sticky fingers, dirty face,
rugs and cushions out of place.
Trains and trucks here and there,
blocks and boats everywhere.
Gold and silver I have none,
but worth a million is my son.
