Nothing Gold or Baby Blue Can Stay

Luke

James

My favorite month is a month of birthdays.  October 2014 is the month my oldest son, Luke, turns 22 and my youngest son, James, turns 15, and their mom turns something or another, the oldest she has EVER been.  Even though I was ridiculed a few times, I was THAT mom that kept her little boys in baby blue and overalls for as long as possible.  At the age of two, I didn't consider them little men; they were my babies, and I knew as soon as they wore khaki pants and knit shirts for the first time, they would resemble men in their attire from that day forward, and I was never ready for that. Once those years pass, they'll never wear footed pajamas again.

James

Each October, I love them more but don't know too many moms who don't miss holding their babies and being kissed by them in public without embarrassment.  Each October is one year removed from rocking them to sleep, holding their hands, helping them set up the train track, reading bedtime stories, baking special birthday cakes, and watching them sleep with a stuffed animal or blanket.  

James

What I miss about having little boys (and a little girl), besides them thinking I actually have some sense, is their innocence, not physical or legal, but

* freedom from guilt or sin through being unacquainted with evil : blameless

* freedom from deceit

*  lack of worldly experience, sophistication, or knowledge 

Luke

Baby boys in baby blue.  What could be more blameless or free from deceit? As babies, my sons' worlds consisted of people who loved and protected them.  As babies, they hadn't been left out of a crowd or bullied, failed a test, or experienced a broken heart.  Nor had they mistreated anyone intentionally.

But these days are special, too. I enjoy my sons as much as I did when they wore baby blue. Luke and I talk about college life and football, and he lets me call him My Sonshine Man when friends aren't around.   James plays my favorite songs on his ipod for me in the car, and he still lets me call him My Jaybird or JayJay, or any of his other dozen nicknames. Don't worry, they don't read my blog.   Through experiences, they have knowledge of the world and make choices. Each October, the people who love them most make fewer and fewer decisions for them as we pray about the loss of innocence and that scary concept of free will.

Luke

Robert Frost in "Nothing Gold Can Stay" gives us a reminder of the transience of life.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Gold, as a hue, doesn't hold in nature. The gold spring buds on the willow tree quickly become leaves, and a golden sunset lasts less than an hour.  Life in Eden, with its river Pishon, where gold was found, didn't last.  It quickly sank to grief as Adam and Eve lost their innocence.  Why?  We know the story of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the shrewdest creature, and wisdom offered by the delicious fruit.  

You won't die! The serpent replied to the woman. God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil. Genesis 3:4-5

We grow up and become too smart for our own good, try to be our own god and rely on our own knowledge.  To grow up is to become acquainted with evil, to sin and experience guilt. October is when I watch maple leaves turn a rich red, then a bright gold, but as quickly as I had to pack up the baby blue blankets and pajamas, the gold disappears.  The trees are still there, however, and those two sons are still mine.  They've experienced life, sin and guilt, for 15 and 22 years, and now their innocence, and ours, is only found in God's wisdom, not the world's, and the saving grace of Christ. It lasts when our innocence is gone.  Grace steps in and declares us blameless.  

The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair. They are more desirable that gold, even the finest gold. Psalm 19:10

You are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault. Colossians 1:22

Baby blue and gold may not last, but Grace can stay.
Happy Birthday to my wonderful sons, Luke and James,

Mom

      
Sticky fingers, dirty face,
rugs and cushions out of place.
Trains and trucks here and there,
blocks and boats everywhere.
Gold and silver I have none,
but worth a million is my son.
Author: unknown                  

   

Pumpkahontas, Muffins, and a New You

A list of what I like about summer: flip flops, flowers.  The end.  My favorite season arrived, and the list of what I love about fall is much longer: boots and football, cool weather and denim, changing leaves and scarecrows, chili and bonfires, apple cake and coffee, fall colors and sweaters, and all things pumpkin.  Let it be known that I loved pumpkins long before they were trendy. 



Mary Jahn's
pumpkin muffins

Having no baking ovens, early New England settlers filled a hollowed out pumpkin with milk, honey, and spices, then cooked it over hot ashes. Luckily, the pumpkin pie followed, and we've transformed this versatile squash into cheesecake, latte, dip, pancakes, fudge, bread pudding, and ravioli.  My friend, Cindy, treated me to coffee and a pumpkin muffin to kick off the season, then another friend, Mary, posted a picture of homemade pumpkin muffins. And even though these muffins were reason enough to proclaim WELCOME FALL, I celebrated my first trip to Anderson's new Krispy Kreme with a pumpkin cake donut.  However, the delicious pumpkin crisp I made decades ago was honestly the best pumpkin dessert EVER.  No one else thought so. That's ok, there was more for me.

1999

The more pumpkins the merrier and the more creative the better. They've come a long way from sitting on the front porch with triangle eyes, nose and jagged smiles, then rotting shortly thereafter.  We don't have to carve free hand anymore; in fact, pumpkins don't have to be carved (paint, glitter, ribbon and rhinestone them), nor do they have to be scary. Pumpkahontas, THE most creative pumpkin, made her debut at Anderson Memorial Hospital's 1987 fall festival decorating contest.  I'll never understand why she didn't win: a Native American pumpkin with braided black yarn pigtails and feathers.  What could be more creative? And I don't even have a picture of her to prove it.

Amy's 1st
painted pumpkins

I believed my pumpkin transformations improved drastically each year: carved initials, designs, and drilled holes. Until, my cousin, Amy, posted her first painted pumpkins on Facebook.  This was pre- Pinterest, the home of  hundreds of ridiculous pumpkin transformations: pumpkins turned into flower pots or ice buckets, stacked as snowmen, painted as Cookie Monster, carved as a Volkswagon Van (it's adorable) or an image of Cinderella's carriage, wrapped like a mummy, and monogrammed.

Pumpkins aren't just for pies, and aren't you glad pumpkins don't merely exist as Jack-O-Lanterns rotting on the front porch? We don't have to exist rotting on the inside either.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Does He love us no matter what? Of course. Transformation isn't about UNbecoming us.I remain Katy when I (usually kicking and screaming) allow God to change my thoughts, words, and actions.  He created me and expects me to be me but wants so much more for my life, freedom and an opportunity to be new. Blogger Jack Hunt writes, "Jesus is about transformation, about finding us just the way we are, but not leaving us that way. When the sick come to Jesus, they leave healed. After the lame meet Jesus, they walk home. The blind can see after he touches them. Even the dead come back to life when Jesus calls them out of their tomb."

..throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:22-24

Just when I think I can't change more, or when I think, "I've arrived, I'm doing exactly what I need to do," God shows me areas that need to be transformed: attitudes that hurt others, habits that become addictions, desires that leave me empty, and words that don't reflect Him.  He isn't saying "you're not good enough for my love."  We always want the best for those we love, don't we? He has a purpose, but there are obstacles. One of them is me.  Transformation isn't instant.. A new nature is a lifelong process of digging out seeds of bitterness, pulling out thick tangles of deception, cutting out dark spots of jealousy, scrubbing away pride, adding self-control, goodness, and peace, as He carves, blends, and paints a new person, a new mind, with a greater purpose.

Why rot on the porch with a jagged smile when you can be transformed?

Katy

I told you it was adorable.

Harmony in a Dormitory

Daughters like to ask about growing up.  Where will I live? Who will I marry? Where will I work? When Hope was about 4 years old, I read a story and talked to her in bed for awhile, and she asked those questions.  The 'Where will I live when I grow up?' required extra time, and our conversation went something like this:

Will I live with you and daddy when I grow up?
You can live with us until you get married if you want to?
I want to live with you, mommy. She began to rub my hand with her soft little fingers.
You'll probably live with us until you go to college.
I don't want to go to shallege. Still rubbing my hand.
Of course you want to go to college.  College is wonderful.  You'll love college.


Carnegie Dorm, Erskine College

I don't like shallege. What do you do in shallege? You'll meet new friends and learn about what you want to be.
I'm not going to shallege.  I'm living with you. Still rubbing my hand.
Hope, when you go to college, you get to live in a dorm, and you'll have so many friends. You can go to their room anytime and talk. 
I don't want to live in a dorm. I want to live with you. Still rubbing my hand.
That's ok.  You don't have to go to college.  You can live with me.
Good.

A few minutes went by, then..

What's a dorm?
It's a big building where you live in college with other girls.  It's kind of like a hotel.
Hope stopped rubbing my hand...
I want to go to shallege!!!!!!
The girl always loved hotels.

Hope at Bates House
University of South Carolina

And while both may be big buildings with rooms, we don't develop relationships with other hotel guests.  Living in a college dorm is an experience like no other.  My freshman year at Erskine, I shared a hall bathroom (showers, sinks, toilets) with two dozen other girls. And for four years, I walked to the dining hall with my new friends, visited their rooms to talk, and tried to live in harmony.  Now, Hope lives in a dorm where she also shares a bathroom with dozens of other girls, walks to dinner, talks, watches movies, and tries to live in harmony with new friends.  This is the part of college that's the most memorable.  Who actually remembers what they learned in math? Who remembers what happened in the dormitory? We don't miss the classes after college. We miss the people.

Hope & dorm
friends

Living with someone else is one of life's most difficult experiences, and I can't think of better practice in harmonious living than a college dormitory.  We have our own ideas, dreams, quirks, and moods. Today might not be the day I want to hang out with friends.  Maybe I want quiet, or maybe someone made me mad yesterday.  One day, I'm difficult.  The next day, someone down the hall is.  Eventually, freshman learn that perhaps mom, dad, sister, and brother were actually normal.

Romans 12:15 "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."

And I love New Living Translation of Romans 12:16 "Live in harmony with each other.  Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all."   

How unfortunate for my college friends this version wasn't around thirty years ago. 

Whether we're freshmen in college or a relationship, everything is exciting and new, so we do our best, act nice, and live happily together, but how do we live in harmony when the new wears off (because it always does)?  There's only one way to live in harmony continually. Agape love: the attitude or emotion of deep affection for another, with a focus on loving action and not feelings alone.    

 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14(NLT)

Hope & Jennifer

Agape acts. It's happy when something great happens to you and sad when you're hurt. Agape patiently waits when you take the 5th selfie of the day and doesn't remember when you were not in the selfie mood yesterday. It's the kind of love that overlooks an unmade bed or clothes on the floor, or maybe it lends a hand with the laundry. Agape doesn't act ugly when you have a new dress or car.  It listens to an ipod to study when you watch television. It's the love that lets you borrow shampoo or a sweater, and it's happy to give you the last pop tart.  Even when tired, Agape walks with you across campus on a hot day. It tells you there's something in your teeth before you leave the dorm and agrees to ice cream whether you need it or not. Agape understands a bad mood or silent treatment but genuinely cares about what's bothering you. It's there with a listening ear and a desire to help. This love helps you endure science and math, hoping and believing you'll graduate together.  

This love is from God, so expecting everyone to show agape love is futile. It's for believers. It lets others know we love them like God loves us, unconditionally.  The kind of love that continues when the new grows old and the fresh turns stale.  Agape love makes harmony in a dormitory possible.

Me & 2 of my roommates
Robyn and Jane 2006

Much love,

 Katy

Plant More Flowers

I grew up knowing a beautiful lady, Ann Blair, best known in Anderson, S.C. for her incredible gardens.  A few years ago, she came to my house to help select paint color, and I looked around at my weeds and commented when she walked to my front door. "I have so many weeds."  She looked at me and said, "Honey, if you want to get rid of your weeds, you've got to plant more flowers."
 

That's what she has done for 50 years, adding more and more making her garden full, and the few weeds are barely noticeable in an entire yard, front and back, of beautiful flowers. While her daughters and their friends (one of them being me) played all day, she worked for hours in the sun, took dips in her pool, then continued to dig, sweat, pull, and plant.  After super in the summer, her family and the many who walked through her back gate enjoyed her garden.

In 1974, the Anderson Garden Club Council award Mrs. Blair the Most Improved yard. Now, fast forward to 2014, and they used her yard for their calendar.  One of her favorite quotations is, "One of the most delightful things about a garden is the anticipation it provides." Imagine all those years of working, watching, and anticipating. Patience.



1989,My bridal luncheon



Allie & friends -Prom

Lindsey Child Barber

                            Not only is her yard the place for many parties, prom and bridal photos, bridal luncheons, weddings, and receptions, it's also a private garden welcoming friends wishing to relax, read, stroll, talk, admire, or pray.  

 

When I thought she couldn't possibly make her home more beautiful, when I thought no more flowers would fit, I pulled into her driveway to find breathtaking pink roses climbing a white picket fence along her front walkway where she was digging a new flower bed for spring snap dragon, summer zinnia, alstroemeria, daisies, drift roses, and many other flowers she gladly shares.

 

 

                                                           She grows a little of everything. Enormous pink, purple and blue hydrangeas grow bigger and more noticeable every year.  Giant ferns and dark green foliage fill several corners and are a nice background for her many roses. Her granddaughter, Annaleisa, submitted a picture which was featured in Ideals magazine: ivy, and airy fern surrounding a white church bird house and her "little girl."

My favorite part of her garden is a deck built around an old oak tree. My grandmother, Sue Brown, found a "little tree" with a long tap root on top of the dumpster at the landfill and brought it to her Mrs. Blair, her neighbor, to plant in her backyard, over 50 years ago. It's now surrounded by a delicate Chinese maple that was Mr. Blair's favorite, a fountain, window box, ferns, hosta, and plenty of places to sit, relax and enjoy.

Annaleisa, Maggie, Susan
Allie, Lindsey, Ann

Soon after she said, "if you want to get rid of weeds, you need to plant more flowers." I read this verse. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21  

Everyone who knows Mrs. Blair has experienced her goodness.  She plants flowers beyond her garden. She plants her flowers, her goodness, in the lives of people.

When friends, people she met yesterday or 30 years ago, experience a loss or sickness, it's not unusual for her to bake a cake or cook dinner: meat with gravy and macaroni and cheese pie.  When her husband was in the hospital with cancer, she brought one of her specialties, brown sugar biscuits, to the nurses everyday for three months, and she still bakes a coconut cake for the birthday of Mr. Blair's radiation oncologist.
 

handwritten recipes

When Mr. Blair was diagnosed with cancer, she filled many days and hours while sitting with him in the hospital and at home hand writing her recipes, over 100, for her four daughters. Years later, after Mr. Wayne Blair passed away, The Anderson Independent newspaper asked for Mom's handwritten recipes and stories. Allyson submitted the recipes, a story, and a note from Mrs. Blair: To: Allyson Love, Mama May 17, 1991 "Recipes that have filled our physical and emotional needs over the years." Allyson wrote, "This books is one of the most treasured items I own." Each daughter has over 100 hand written recipes, not copied.  A dear friend later copied them for a cook book, and Mrs. Blair gives these as gifts. 

 

In the process of helping me remodel my kitchen, she was in a car accident while taking food to her grandson and was unable to drive.  Moving around her house on a scooter with a broken ankle, she looked through dozens of floor and counter top samples and told me to bring more to her house the next day.  This is also the time she decided to crawl around on the ground and create more flower beds in the front of her house.  

Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. Galatians 6:10 NLT

Surfside Beach, SC
So much cooking

Grant, Mason, Allie, Lindsey
Maggie, Clay, Blair

She makes Christmas extra special for her family with different paper and bows.  She decorates for her family, friends, and anyone else who asks.  She sits through ballgames, concerts, and school lunches with a smile, and spends a week at the beach cooking THREE meals a day for her entire family and whoever else shows up. Her grandchildren call her for advice.  Lindsey says she always has clarity after talking to her grandmother. Written on church bulletins or colorful note pads, priceless notes from her grandchildren are tucked into the pages of her worn (and that's an understatement) Bible.
 

Amanda, Allyson, Allie
Susan, Lindsey

She taught Sunday school for decades and still helps our pastor with his class and is an active member of Concord Baptist Choir. If Mrs. Blair isn't at choir practice or at church on Sunday, she's either sick or out of town.  It's not uncommon for her to share a Bible verse or send a card.  Today, she gave me a copy of Jesus Calling, which she has on hand for gifts. She bakes cakes for our homeless ministry and for a women's ministry, Under His Wing.

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. I Thessalonians 5:14 NIV

Emma, Lindsey, Maggie, Grant
Mark

Mason & Mama Cromer
 (Ann's mother)

Her door is always open.  No matter how crowded her home or how busy she might be, you are welcome for as long as you need to stay.  Mrs. Blair has shared her home, food, and time with people who need a place to live for awhile.  The reason doesn't matter to her; in fact, a few moved in and out, and she treated them like they were her own children. 

 

Her garden gate is open for anyone, anytime. She sits with you and counsels or prays. With her strong faith, she comforts and strengthens many friends during dark times. Mrs. Blair knows heart ache and pain, and she understands when people are broken.  She helps others overcome this brokenness with tremendous sacrifice and extends the love of Christ with her goodness. I mentioned to her last week that she helps her family even if she has to do without, and she said, "I don't care if they're family or live down the street or in a barn, if they need help, I'm going to help. It doesn't have to be big. Little things help people, too."  

Open Windows/journals

I can honestly say she is in love with the Lord. She's rooted in the Word, which is why she's able to spread the Lord's goodness. She journals in her Open Windows for two hours every morning, telling God about the previous day and her thoughts. I stood amazed today as she showed me seventeen years of journals to God, "I pour out my soul to God in these journals.  He is the best psychiatrist there is. I write the good and the bad. Someone asked me 'what if someone reads those times that weren't so good?' I said GOOD." If you know her, you can hear her say this.

 



August 26, 2014
 

I'm privileged to know and be loved by Ann Blair. I've been blessed by her flowers and her goodness more times than I can count. She SHOWED the Holy Spirit to me as child, teenager, young mother, and continues to do so today. I've never met a person who didn't feel the same,

Katy

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. ¹⁰ For the Scriptures say

Ann Blair & her 10 grandchildren
 

“If you want to enjoy life
    and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
¹¹ Turn away from evil and do good.
    Search for peace, and work to maintain it.  I Peter 3:9-11