Go to Sleep

 

Adults look forward to sleep,  and we do what we can to stay asleep.  Children do what they can to stay awake, and we do all we can to make them sleep.

It wasn't uncommon to read six or seven books to Luke, followed by singing every Baptist hymn I knew plus every verse of Just As I Am and Amazing Grace.  When he was five, we spent fifty nights learning about every state, including population, land area, state bird, state resources, etc.  For forty-two longer nights, a different president was his bedtime story.

I stood beside Hope's crib when she was a toddler and patted her bottom, rubbed her back and sang. Thinking  she was asleep,  I slowly lifted my hand from her back,  but without lifting her check or opening her eyes, she whispered, "shong," which was my signal to continue.  At the age of five, her bedtime story was simple: one book, usually about Barbie or a Princess, but the songs were complicated,  either The Bare Necessities from Jungle Book  (I only knew the chorus) or A Spoon Full of Sugar from Mary Poppins (It didn't matter that I'm an alto).

James required two or three books, and my creative Water Medley and Jesus Medley worked perfectly as lullabies in his glider rocker.  By the age of five, though, James found LOTS to do in his room, so we stayed with him until he fell asleep.

"Mommy, when are you going to leave?"

 "When you're asleep."

 After a few minutes... "I'm asleep now, you can leave."

"No, you're not."

"How will you know I'm asleep?"

"I can hear you breathing."

He closed his eyes, breathed as loudly as possible, and started the fake snore.  Nice try, Jaybird.

 

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. Psalm 23:2

 

After reading Charles Allen's God's Psychiatry many years ago, Psalm 23 became a favorite passage and eventually very real to me.

The shepherd starts the sheep grazing about 4 a.m. The sheep walk steadily as they graze; they are never still. By 10 a.m., the sun is beaming down and the sheep are hot, tired, and thirsty. The wise shepherd knows that the sheep must not drink when it is hot, neither when its stomach is filled with undigested grass. So the shepherd makes the sheep lie down in green pastures, in a cool, soft spot. The sheep will not eat lying down, so it chews its cud, which is nature’s way of digestion. Study the lives of great people, and you will find every one of them drew apart from the hurry of life for rest and reflection. Great poems are not written on crowded streets, lovely songs are not written in the midst of clamoring multitudes; our visions of God come when we stop. The Psalmist said, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). The sheep will drink only from still waters. If there are no still waters available, while the sheep are resting, the shepherd will gather up stones to fashion a dam across a small stream to form a pool from which even the tiniest lamb may drink without fear. Even while he is sleeping, the Shepherd is working to prepare for his needs tomorrow.

 

I knew the physical benefits of sleep, so I devoted many hours making my children rest their bodies for another day.   Unfortunately,  I didn't devote many hours for my own rest and stillness for spiritual health; instead, I filled my days with nonstop noise and deeds (as many distractions as possible) to avoid silence.  So, as the Psalmist promised, my Shepherd made me lie down and be still.  Starving for spiritual food, I was led to hours alone in strange stillness of cool, nourishing pastures without the usual noises hiding His voice, to reading and searching (no music or television) and an opportunity to drink water my Shepherd carefully prepared, and although it was difficult being made to STOP and REST, I'm forever grateful. I'm hardheaded and easily distracted, so I know He will do it again when necessary, for my Shepherd "restores my soul.."

 

Katy

 

 

 

 

 

Less Is More

 

I love the AT&T commercials where a grown man in suit and tie asks questions to kids, especially the one where he asks, "Which is better, more or less?" The little girl rambling on and on We Want More, We Want More definitely proves that It's Not Complicated, we really do want more. But the familiar saying Less Is More is worth discussing .

Less Is More is true in interior design, which I know absolutely nothing about.  But, luckily, I have a friend who does.  Anna Cheek, owner of Cheek Interiors, is an exceptionally talented designer, and she shared some insight about "less is more."




    www.cheekinteriors.com

 

One of the questions I have to often answer as a designer is, “How do I decorate the bookcases?” (The infamous large built-in cabinets next to fireplaces in a living room.)  If you don’t have a plan here they quickly become a magnet for every small knick-knack you have ever collected or been given in your life. When shelves or walls, or really any surface you have in your home, becomes covered with several items it can start to feel cluttered.  You might own 25 beautiful pieces of collectible pottery, but if you place them all on one shelf, none of them becomes special. They compete with one another. If I take them all down and then carefully select 3 or 4 of them to put on display, then all of a sudden their individual details become more evident. The color is more pronounced and the shape or texture becomes the focus. When there are fewer things competing for your attention, then you can truly appreciate the beauty of the selected items on the shelf.

Anna's beautiful work

Wow.  "None of them becomes special. They compete with one another. Individual details become more evident."   What is actually special to me?  Is it my focus?

He must increase, but I must decrease.  John 3:30

If I have a relationship with Christ, what is my purpose? Who is the focus?  Is life all about me or all about Christ?  If there's so much Katy, are Christ's details (love, compassion, grace, patience, forgiveness) evident? Am I trying to show what a wonderful person I am by telling what I do, or am I showing the marvelous God I serve by telling what He does?  In other words, am I competing with God?

This is a tough verse, and I believe it's a struggle for all who wish to serve Christ.  We are important; our personalities are important. We deliver an important message according to our varied talents and abilities. God requires me to be Katy, but there's a problem when His message becomes cluttered with too much of me:  my opinion, my pride, and my desires. When it's all about me, it's less about Him. 

 

There's nothing like swallowing pride, is there? It's something I'm asked to do continually because my actions and words are often in His way.  After a week of the flu in February, I returned to my daily walk in the woods with my dog.  Feeling extremely weak, stressed, and emotional, I walked and talked longer than usual, desperately trying to convince God that what I was doing was for Him, but He knew it was all about me. I reminded Him of His details I was attempting to show.  He reminded me of pronounced color and textured scars I was covering up with my own agenda.

Think about Anna's words, "when there are fewer things competing for your attention, then you can truly appreciate the beauty of the selected items on the shelf."   I know we repeat this so often, but Christ truly is beautiful.   

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17

            It's Not Complicated, we really do want more, especially of      ourselves, but more is only better when it's Him. Less of me is More of Him, more of His beauty. Is Christ our focal point?  Are we pointing men and women to ourselves, or are we pointing them to Christ?

    I want more Christ, what about you?   
     Katy

Speaking of beauty.... I haven't met anyone who doesn't think Anna is beautiful, and she reflects Christ's beauty as well. 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm OK With My Relief Picture

 

 

The picture of my waving, smiling Luke in his band uniform at the 2014 Capital One Bowl is my relief picture.  The day before at the pep rally, we heard the Mighty Sound of the Southeast play and raced to the buses to say "hello," except he wasn't at the buses. He's 21, but before I knew he was with Concocktion pep band headed to play for another group, I panicked,  It brought back a memory.

David, James and Grandma

As a high school freshman, Luke traveled with the Westside Ram Band to march before Disney's Spectro Magic parade.  This was a BIG deal for the entire family: our son, grandson, nephew, brother marching down Main Street U.S.A., the place we enjoyed as a family for many years.  We sold, bought and ate Band Fruit.  Seven excited, loyal fans flew, rented a car, stayed at a Disney resort, bought park passes, overpriced food and frivolous souvenirs at Walt Disney World in not so sunny Florida to see Luke march past Cinderella's castle.

It rained all day on Friday and again on Saturday while Luke, wearing soaked shoes, led his friends around Disney World stopping long enough for a coke and fries, so when they arrived at Magic Kingdom four hours prior to the parade, we received a "your son isn't feeling well" call from a chaperone.  Thirty minutes later, we received another call, "we're taking him to first aid."   

We arrived at first aid to find him gray, clammy, shivering, and miserable. Gatorade and crackers didn't help, but when we took his shoes and socks off, we saw why.  I assumed they were feet because swollen white prunes usually aren't attached to ankles.  But, I had a GRAND idea.  First aid's back door opened to the parade "step off" spot.  Luke could rest under a blanket, eat more crackers, drink more Gatorade, and dress in his band uniform.  Brilliant. I called chaperones who were with the band in another section of the park. Sorry, he can't dress in first aid.  According to Disney, it will RUIN the atmosphere.  As a band member, he's part of the MAGIC.  WHAT?  Sitting with my kids in the waiting room, my sister, a former Disney cast member, informed me that Disney doesn't bend the rules EVER.  "We'll see about that."   I ran through Adventure land in the rain with my flip phone and terrible service while David stayed with Luke.  Even for a sick 15 year old and his frantic mother running around in a storm, they didn't.  I couldn't even have his "part of the magic" shoes we owned.

Susi, Hope, Katy
A rare sunny day

One hour until step off.  Pacing under an awning while a Disney guest spilled soda on my shoe, I called the band director begging for some way to bring barefooted Luke to the band.  "Are you trying to make him well so he can march?"  Of course I was. I'm a mom, and seven of us flew down here.   "Oh, no. I think he's much better."  The nurse suggested a wheelchair. What better way for the band director to see he's fit to march. No thanks.  30 minutes until step off.  Thunder, lightening, and April hail delayed the parade.  So, I made one last frantic call to the band director, and he really wanted Luke to march.  "What can we do?"  With an exhausted voice, I cried, "My son. sniff...Just needs.sniff....  Some shooooooes."  20 minutes prior to step off.  Mark, an unforgettable Disney cast member, drove a golf cart to first aid and took Luke to his band.    

Did I enjoy the parade? No. I waited impatiently expecting Luke to collapse on the front row after I promised the director he was fine. David and I followed the band with cameras and anxious hearts to the end of the parade where we saw Mark,  who had played trombone in high school, offer a smile and a thumbs up.  Luke was fine.  Well, he actually had strep throat, but he marched. He was OK.

 

He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.   Isaiah 40:29

You have granted me life and favor, And Your care has preserved my spirit. Job 10:12

My relief picture reminds me that we don't walk around ecstatic every day, but we're OK; we're still standing.  Maybe not running a marathon, but well and strong enough to work. Not living in a mansion, but having a bed. Maybe not feeling our best, but we feel His Favor.  Maybe not at the top of our game, but surviving and marching to the end of the parade without fainting. Maybe we ride on a bus for 12 hours with a fever and marvelous chaperones take care of us. We make it home and we bounce back with renewed strength. 

 

Relieved & OK,

Katy

By the way, they sell socks, shoes and DRY clothes at the gift shop next to first aid where I stood frantically begging for shoes.

The marvelous chaperones were Carrie Motes, Lynn Guthrie, Maryellen Minniear, and Paula McAbee.  The band director, Shane Vickery, was responsible for Luke's and the entire band's welfare.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If and When Shoes

 

1989 Me with Allyson
at my bridesmaid luncheon

Little girls love to dress up in fancy dresses, borrow mommy's purse and wear her shoes.  Allyson, my best friend growing up, and I looked so stylish dressed up in my mom's high heels one day.  It didn't matter that the shoes were twice as big as our feet.  We clunked and shuffled out the front door headed to Allyson's house to find more stuff. Stomp, stomp across the porch and down the step until CRASH! Allyson flew to the yard dragging her knee and shin across the rough edges of the concrete steps.  Along with grownup jewelry, she wore mercuricome and Band-Aids as accessories that day, but we found our own shoes that fit and walked down the street to the purses in her mom's closet in search of chewing gum and nickels, and then to the station wagon to pick our kids up from school.

 

As a grownup, I'm supposed to wear my own shoes or at least shoes that fit and are comfortable, so wearing a new pair of shoes on a 1.2 mile walk around EPCOT wasn't a good idea. Imagine walking a mile in a pair of shoes you've never walked a mile in. I probably should've learned a lesson about wearing my own shoes and walking a mile in shoes that have been walked in first.

 



Ready to become a REAL mommy

If those kids were mine, I'd make them behave in the shoe department.  When I'm old and can't take care of myself, I'll be more than happy in assisted living and won't complain about being there or the shoes my daughter brings me. Dependent clauses beginning with If and When are often joined with statements that haven't happened, so the outcome is unknown. Do I know for certain what I'll do when I'm older? No.  Did I know what kind of parent I'd be before I had kids? No. I only had an idea

 

I've walked many miles in my own shoes: raising three kids, teaching, working retail, being the youngest child, being married,  attending a small college, having A.D.D., being depressed,  writing a blog, and so on.  The list of shoes I haven't walked in is much longer: retiring, divorcing, raising an only child, raising a special needs child, being a nurse, working in a bank, owning a business, losing a home, living in a wheelchair, coaching a team, serving in the military, burying a parent or a child, and so on. Do I know what I would do If or When?  No. I only know what it's like to raise Luke, Hope, and James. I only know what it's like to be married to David (bless his heart).

  

It's tough remembering that I haven't walked in different shoes but easy to have ideas of what I would do in those shoes. Sometimes, my If and When clauses are about situations, but too often they're about others and how they're walking in their shoes. I couldn't possibly count the times I commented on how I would do things differently If and When I wore their shoes, only to find myself crashed, wounded, and blistered. Luckily, God doesn't count them either because I'm forgiven for those times.

 

How can I know what I'll do When I'm a grandmother or a mother-in-law, when my daughter moves away, or when I have to give up the house and yard I love? And, what do I do with If? I can empathize with people whose shoe list resembles mine, but every situation is different.  I have friends with three kids, but they're not my kids.  I have friends who teach, but we have different students. I know many who are depressed, but I'm not living their lives.  Lately, I've realized there's only one way I can know what I'll do When, or what I can tell friends If they ask about their If and When.

My son, eat honey because it is good, And the honeycomb which is sweet to your taste; So shall the knowledge of wisdom be to your soul; If you have found it, there is a prospect, And your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 24:13-14
 

 The LORD remains near to all who call out to him, to everyone who calls out to him sincerely. Psalm 145:18

Call on God. Walk with Him. Search for His truth, His wisdom. Unfortunately, there are circumstances I can't control, but I can constantly work on my walk with God.  I've only walked in my own shoes, but so has He. If and When I work on this relationship, when I'm walking with Him and learning His wisdom, I don't have to worry about the When Shoes I haven't worn yet or the If shoes I may never wear. He walked in your shoes and knows your If and When before they happen.

 

 

 

 

Put your own shoes on and walk with God,

 

Katy

 

Speaking of shoes....

Sole Hope not only puts shoes on the feet of children in Africa, they also treat the heartbreaking medical condition of the parasite chigoe flea, or jigger. Take a look at my friend Cindy O'Brien's blog about this amazing ministry. www.cindyobrien78.blogspot.com Sole Hope's website is www.solehope.com

Dawn Staley, Olympic athlete and women's basketball coach at University of South Carolina, started the national charity Innersole that puts shoes on children in need. www.innersole.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Stories of My Life, Courtesy of Lewis and Audrey

Lewis & Audrey King

Two important people in my life loved each other and their friends dearly, and I confidently speak on behalf of their family when I say, "We never doubted their tremendous love for us."  Lewis Washington King married Audrea Mae Davis (later, her family called her Audrey) in February, 1936 and by the time of her death in 1998, they had celebrated 16 wedding anniversaries.  Why? Because they married on February 29, and he reminded her that he only had to buy an anniversary gift every four years.  Knowing Lewis, my Daddy Luke, and Audrey, my beautiful grandmother, was a treat.  I'll give my best introduction to this handsome gentleman who was a Rotarian and an SAR and his February bride whose granddaughters swore looked like a Hollywood star.

Although I occasionally accused him of being mean, Daddy Luke was a sweet man who often reared his head back and laughed at his gullible, puzzled granddaughter.  Without realizing it, I was developing a love of sarcasm and wit.  As a less gullible adult,  I tried, unsuccessfully, to match wits, which solicited more laughs. At their kitchen table, I became a competitive card player. If I won at gin rummy, which was rare, it was by my own doing, not his.  He also didn't let  me win at arm wrestling and laughed at me for considering myself stronger because I lifted weights.

Daddy Luke & Luke (John Lewis)

Probably the smartest and wisest man I've ever known, Daddy Luke was well-read with a study full of books, and I envied that room with those shelves my entire life.  He kept a copy of "The Works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow" on the table next to his armchair, and I read it growing up, developing a love of poetry. I think he was delighted. Astonished  that Daddy Luke could name every president (Washington - Clinton) my 5 year old Luke studied and memorized until he did the same; however, he didn't learn them backwards like Daddy Luke.    

Daddy Luke, Katy, Susi (Audrea Susan)

Daddy Luke was famous for his blood curdling scream and startled two little girls huddled on the floor next to his armchair, approximately three feet from the consol television, on Sunday nights: as the ax went down on Ann Bolin's head when King Henry VIII had enough of her or as the flying monkeys terrorized Dorothy and friends.  Luke inherited that exact scream and has used it in line at Disney's Haunted Mansion. 

Grandmother, Stephanie & Drew (Andrew Lewis)

My ladylike Grandmother King told stories better than anyone, laughing and apologizing the entire time, "I'm sorry, I get so tickled when I tell it."   We weren't allowed to gossip or say anything negative about anyone, EVER.  She had many friends, was active in her church and community, and kept perfectly manicured nails. She taught us to sew, embroider, and swing a golf club and loved it when her grandchildren spent the night. She knew the value of a healthy smile and used an egg timer to time us brushing our teeth.  

She kept an immaculate home full of gorgeous antiques purchased by saving her "allowance" from Daddy Luke.   Grandmother didnt gossip. She taught us to respect Law Enforecent. She couldn't understand how we could possibly watch soap operas. Her television stayed off until after dinner, but we weren't bored.  With her fancy hats and jewelry in one guest room, and her "twirling" Western Square-dancing dresses in the closet of another guest room, my sister and I dressed up for hours.   Believing the neighboring cotton field belonged to our grandparents (it didn't) Scarlett and Prissy picked cotton and rode horses past fig, acorn, and pear trees back to the mansion for a snack and coke from a bottle, either in the kitchen or on the porch, but never in the den.

"I thank my God every time I remember you."  Philippians 1:3 NIV

 The human brain is fascinating.  Negative or positive, everything we've experienced resides there. "Psychology Today" says we're a product of our memories.  They give us a sense of self.  That's mind-blowing. Basically, every experience at Daddy Luke and Grandmother's house is still with me, and I can use those experiences for stories.  Their souls are with God, but the memory of their love and laughter is in my heart and mind forever.   Sharing this love and laughter through stories is a phenomenal gift from Lewis and Audrey, and from God.

Paul had a relationship with and remembered the Philippians,  and he thanked God for these children in the faith who were, in many ways,  a model church.  My grandparents were role models, and I thank God for their memory.  I can remember this verse on a more personal level?

I thank my God every time I remember Daddy Luke.

I thank my God every time I remember Grandmother King.

I thank my God every time I remember each of you,

Katy

 

Clueless in Love

Hope, 2002

I'm a recycling nature lover, so I was thrilled when my daughter, Hope, joined Planet Patrol in 6th grade. She took it seriously, too. She didn't want us to see Roper Mountain Lights in Greenville during the Christmas holidays.  We assured her their lights burned even if we stayed home.  "But it's too much gas to drive over there."  When we considered driving to a Disney park from our hotel on vacation, Hope absolutely refused.  "That's what the buses are for."  I was proud of her, but one morning driving to school, we had an interesting conversation.

"You know what's a great idea, Mom? School buses."                                                         

"Yes, they are."

"I mean, think of all the gasoline that's saved when people ride the bus. I'm glad people ride the school bus."

"I didn't know you felt that way. You know the bus comes to our neighborhood,  and I rode the bus in middle school. Maybe you can, too."

"Oh, no.  I wasn't talking about me.  I'm not a bus rider."

I guess what's good for others is NOT good for her, completely CLUELESS.

Does "what's good for others is good for me" apply to love? Considering the love chapter, 1st Corinthians 13, I'm kind, patient, believe all things and not envious with the people I love, who happen to be the people I like, especially when they're kind and patient with me.  I only behave rudely when others are rude to me. That's love, isn't it?

Imagine the crowd of clueless faces when Jesus spoke of love.

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."  Mark 12:31

“And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same way." Luke 6:31

Surely he must mean treat others as they treat me.  What's good for me is good for them.  If they're rude, I should be rude or at least let everyone know about it, right?  If they lie to me, surely I can lie to them.  If they control me, shouldn't I control them?  If she gossips about me, she deserves a few slanderous remarks. Everyone else is manipulating situations to suit themselves.  Shouldn't I do the same?  If they post something negative about my school, my work, my church, or my passion on Facebook, I'm instructed to do the same, right? 

When it comes to love, I'm completely clueless. 

A few weeks ago, my pastor gave us "Occasional Important Reminders" that generated humble discussions.  Based on Titus 3:1-8, one of our reminders was to be Magnanimously Gracious People.  Magnus -great, Animus -soul & mind.  A few of his NOT TO reminders? use our words to heap abuse on people, revile people with our words, be caught up in society's drama, be contentious.  Instead, we ARE TO be peacemakers, be under control and not fearful, and be considerate of others. link to sermon Occasional Important Reminders/January 26,2014

"to malign no one, to be uncontentious, gentile, showing every consideration for all men." Titus 3:2  

Considerate of  all men, love God more than myself, love my neighbor as much as myself, and treat others like I wish to be treated?  That's a tall order. While others may think it's good to be rude, inconsiderate, or dramatic, it's not good for me.  What's good for me, to be treated with respect, love, and kindness, is always good for others.  Believer's Bible Commentary suggests that I think of how much I love myself and how much of my activity is centered around the care and comfort of myself, then try and imagine if I showered that same love on my neighbors, everyone I know.  If I think it's impossible for me, I'm absolutely right.  Remember, I'm clueless because that behavior isn't natural.  It's only possible if I ask God, who is all Love, to do this through me.

This love is only possible if He guides me to be there for others. With Him, I'm able to treat everyone as I wish to be treated.  

Happy Valentine's Day, Neighbors,

 Katy