More Than Self: A Soldier




It's time to proudly wave and wear red, white, and blue, eat BBQ, and celebrate the United States of America and her birth.  It's time to give thanks for our freedom, pray for our country, and sing our favorite patriotic songs, like The Star Spangled Banner and America, the Beautiful.

America, with her spacious skis and majestic mountains, is beautiful.  But as a selfish person, I need to look at the third verse of America, the Beautiful, which not only reminds me of how we won our freedom but also urges me to remember how we keep it. 

     Oh Beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife

    Who more than self their country loved 

    And mercy more than life.

While we sleep soundly in America, the Beautiful, there are those whose mission is to place "us" before themselves, and they deserve our praise, so I asked my favorite Veteran, my cousin, retired Army Sergeant First Class David Brown Crawford, to share his service.

When David entered the army in 1988, he said the Army didn't actually do that good of a job instilling Country First or Selfless Service.  It was talked about, but he joined with a generation who grew up with a sense of patriotism.  They had recited the Pledge of Allegiance in school and respected the flag of the United States of America.  When a soldier acted selfish, they were berated a bit with physical activities and taunting, "It's all about Johnny, isn't it?" Then, everyone else was punished for a soldier's self-serving attitude.    

The majority of the guys I served with almost regardless of background had at least the basic building blocks of  "America biggest and best" concept instilled in them.  Through my 22 years in the Army these building blocks were rapidly eroded, and more and more new soldiers only were in it for themselves. Combine this with "the mass punishment is cruel" mentality and the "Me, Me, Gimme, Gimme" attitude of the modern day youth, the Army had to improve their messaging.  So toward the end of my career (2004-2009 time frame), the Army began to develop things like the "Soldiers Creed," Army Values and Warrior Ethos.

The Soldier's Creed begins and ends with I am an American Soldier with eleven statements in between, among them, I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values, I will always place the mission first, I will never accept defeat, I will never quit, I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.  The Army's Core Values are Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage.  Selfless Service: Put the welfare of the nation, the Army and your subordinates before your own.  This messaging is now a large part of Basic Training.  Along with posters and paintings on the walls, recruiters teach their recruits these sayings before Basic Training, keeping these ideas in the forefront of a Soldier's daily life.

Army's Core Values http://www.goarmy.com/soldier-life/being-a-soldier/living-the-army-values.html 

Soldier's Creed http://www.army.mil/values/soldiers.html 

These are strong words, but if you don't believe it, and at some point give yourself to cause then the tendency to continue to put yourself first will remain and reflect in how effective you are as a Soldier.

"He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.  He is a shield to those who walk with integrity." Proverbs 2:7

David served twenty-two years, including three tours in Iraq.  Toward the end of Desert Storm, he was part of "Operation Provide Comfort" in Iraq and Turkey. During his second tour in 2004, he joined  his unit already in country twelve months and ready to redeploy. With temperatures reaching 110 in Kuwait, his men were ready to recover their gear, load the boat, and "let the freedom bird swoop in and take us home to our families, comfy beds, good chow, and no more sand!!"  But, that didn't happen. Because of troubles with Shite Militia in Eastern Iraq, their time was extended ninety more days.

I feel certain each of us were having deep conversations in our heads dealing with Love of Country, Selfless Service and Mutiny at that time.  We did what we were told, packed up and went back to base and got our heads down. The next morning my battalion commander had the task of telling the unit we had to go back.  He was choking up as he told us, and we knew we were all getting a huge gut check from the lowest ranking to the highest ranking. In the end I knew I couldn't complain at all.  My guys had been there much longer and would have cut me no slack if I was to complain at all.

David's last tour in Iraq, 2007-2008, was fifteen months.  Many guys he served with had already spent close to five years in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

We knew there was little you could do to make it go faster.  It was not a race. You just had to literally lean forward everyday and put one foot in front of the other just to get through it. We all knew we could die but we knew we were good at what we did, and if we continued to do what we knew how to do then as a group we would survive.

Not only do Soldiers sacrifice their lives for us, their families sacrifice as well.  Missing countless birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, David knew what time he had to be at work but never what time he would be at home, often going home for dinner then back to the hanger for more work.

My family all agree that it was a good luck day when David met Anja while stationed in Germany.  Taking care of two children with a husband overseas and moving every three years wasn't easy.

It was probably tougher on her than me in many cases, but Anja's level of motivation and responsibility always amazed me and allowed me to do my job without having to worry that the kids were not being taken care of or other household duties were not being accomplished. I owe more to Anja for keeping our family together during those times than I could ever put into words. Anja and our kids (Josh and Hanna) were very supportive during this process. I think they have a sense of duty because of the environment they grew up in.

The Army's Core Value of Selfless Service states The basic building block of selfless service is the commitment of each team member to go a little further, endure a little longer, and look a little closer to see how he or she can add to the effort.  David said, "Accepting 'you can't just quit' attitude is the only way to get through it."

With an adventurous spirit (always), David enjoyed the travel the Army provided. His job as a helicopter mechanic was challenging, but "learning and managing a complex piece of machinery was exactly what I needed." His mom, my Aunt Gladys, always said he spent most of this childhood taking apart and putting back together anything and everything.  But, David also served as a recruiter for a few years and was as honest as possible with new soldiers.

Sacrifice was part of my pitch, but I didn't really focus on it. Anyone who goes into the Army not taking into account that they are going to have to give themselves to the process at some time usually didn't make it. Those who were unable to relieve themselves of "me first" mentality and give into the "I am here to serve a cause that is bigger than me. My buddies are in this with me, and what I am doing matters" at some level did not fare well in the Army environment.

Being a Soldier is a job, yes, but it's also a big sacrifice with a mission.  Every employee has goals and a mission, but the mission of a Soldier is to make it possible for us to live freely in America, the Beautiful.

Even though he doesn't agree with the path we are taking and believes our situation will worsen before it improves, David would serve again. 

"I feel very fortunate to be an American.  I always think back to what it took to win WWII and wonder if we would have the intestinal fortitude to win that type of fight again.  Oddly enough, if I had to do it all again, I would still choose to join the Army and serve my country.  The level of camaraderie and respect I have for the Soldiers I had the privilege to serve with is enormously important to me, and I will value that until the day I die.

How much do you love America, the Beautiful and our freedom?  Thank our Soldiers.  Your welfare comes before their own.

Happy Independence Day,

Katy

I could never express how proud the Brown family and I are of our Soldier, David. After twenty-two years of career military, we were relieved to have him safely home in the country he served and protected.  Thanks, David, for your willingness to share your service and thoughts.  

Confessions of a Lead Foot Motor Mouth

 

 

Confession. I have a lead foot, so driving the speed limit is difficult. I was issued a warning four years ago, but I'm happy to announce I don't remember the last time I was issued a speeding ticket. Good for me?  Not really. Driving with kids, a cruise control that I use even around town and the fact that I've been extremely conscientious about traffic laws for the last two decades helps, but the truth is that I simply haven't been CAUGHT. 

 

Why is driving the speed limit so difficult?  With help from a City of Anderson patrol officer, Sergeant Vincent Smith,  I discovered it's all about control.  He hears often what I think every time I look at my speedometer.  I didn't realize I was going that fast.  Control.  Before I know it, I've lost it.

 

Sergeant Smith also hears, I was passing another car. That's an interesting excuse since there's nothing telling us we can disregard traffic laws to pass another car.  He shared a few excuses that somehow put the blame on something else other than the driver.  New or oversize tires caused my speedometer to read wrong. Not my fault. There's no way I can speed going uphill.  I'm right, you're wrong.

 

And then, there's this excuse, I was going downhill which caused my car to speed up. Of course the vehicle speeds up.  Running, walking, bicycling, or driving, YES, we go faster and faster downhill, don't we?  And without control, we continue.

 

There are speeding laws and consequences for breaking those laws.  What does speeding in the City of Anderson cost? The minimum fine is $81.87 with 2 points.  The maximum fine is $440 and 6 points.  OUCH, not only are the fines costly that one time, but the points on a driver's license can cost months or maybe a few years of insurance payments.  That's reason enough to exercise control.    

 

But, here's a better reason and a more serious consequence.  I asked Sergeant Smith, "Why do you believe it's important to obey traffic speed limits?"  His response was direct and simple. "Speeding and disobeying signs and signals causes bad accidents."  Sometimes we recover from those accidents, and sometimes we don't.

Confession. And this will surprise no one. I have a motor mouth that runs fast and often.  Unfortunately, it's also difficult to control. Again, I'm happy to announce that I exercise a little more control than I did a decade ago, well, except for yesterday and last week and last month and six months ago and a year ago.  You know what I mean.  As soon as I think I have my mouth, and let's call it what it is GOSSIP, under control, there I go running it again as fast and as often as possible. 

In my opinion, gossip is the easiest sin not only because everyone does it but also because it's the most difficult to control.  I'm innocently talking to friends, family or co-workers about something entirely relevant. And before I know it, gossip. And the more I talk and the more others respond, I'm speeding downhill, completely out of control heading for an accident.   

And there's a price to pay. I know because it happened: hurt feelings, lost trust and cautious relationships.  But what if we're not caught?  Big deal? Does it hurt others?  Yes, it does.  Through gossip, we change someone's view of another person.  What if we share completely irrelevant information that happened long ago, does it hurt us?  Is there a price?

"If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless." James 1:26 

Worthless.  Other translations for what happens to my religion: futile, isn't worth much, vain.

Blaming my mouth on others is as useless as blaming my lead foot on other drivers.  When was the last time you drove the speed limit on the interstate while dozens of cars sped by? As soon as we think, "Oh well, I might as well step on it, too," we give up control.  The price of a ticket or an accident is the same whether it was our idea or theirs.

Other than my kids, cruise control has been helpful to me as a confessed lead foot.  What about my motor mouth?  A Facebook friend shared another verse last week.

"Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior." 2 Timothy 2:16

 

Those are good verses to memorize. Maybe we can lock them in and set our cruise control. Or maybe, we give the ultimate control to God; after all, self-control is a part of His fruit.  

 

Whether it's a lead foot or a motor mouth or both, there's a price to pay.

 

Be safe, 

Katy
 

Thank you, City of Anderson Police Department for being so courteous and helpful. Phone calls, e-mails, and Facebook messages were met with professionalism and promptness even when I told them this was a hobby and there was no hurry. 

A Daddy

Only a selfless, devoted man can be A Daddy.

 

A daddy worked all day.  Exhausted, he came home and made babies laugh.  A daddy rocked and fed them, gave them a bath, read bedtime stories and kissed them goodnight.

A daddy woke up in the middle of the night, calmed fears and changed diapers.  A daddy woke up early, checked on sleeping babies, went to work in an office filled with their pictures so they would have what they needed.

A daddy didn't want a Saturday hobby that took him away from Luke, Hope, and James.  He gave them more than a home and food.  He gave them time. A daddy looked forward to seeing them at night and on the weekends.  He took them to Sunday worship and served in the nursery when it was his turn.  A daddy prayed for and with them.

A daddy didn't go to the gym in the morning.  He woke kids up, took them to school and wished them a good day.  A daddy called their mom and asked about their day AND grades, of course, but only because he worried and wanted them to do well.  He wanted them to do their best.  He rescheduled meetings to attend Donuts for Dad and Award's Day.  A daddy went to both nights of the dance recital and scheduled daddy/daughter dates.

A daddy took them to the movies.  He played games and gave them a puppy. A daddy took them to Chick-fil-a for breakfast. He sat on the bleachers for hours after work. A daddy recorded every concert. He called Mom months in advance and asked, "Do the kids have anything on February 2, 2017?" A daddy wouldn't schedule anything if there's a concert or ballgame. 

A daddy considered where Luke, Hope, and James wanted to vacation.  Where will they have the most fun? Individually, what do each of them want to do when we're there? A daddy made sure they experienced their favorites.   He dug in the sand, played miniature golf, waited in lines, bought ice cream, and pushed a stroller.  A hot, tired daddy carried sleeping kids back to the room.

A dad takes them shopping for Mother's Day, Christmas, and Mom's birthday.  He takes days off to move them into college and misses them when they're gone.  He calls or texts every day. With a Clemson University degree, a dad writes a check to the University of South Carolina and wears garnet to the ballgame while his heart is orange.  A Tiger spends all day in Columbia to catch a glimpse of his Gamecock in a band uniform.  

A daddy's love is unforgettable. A daddy gives time. A daddy is patient.  A daddy teaches.  He wants them to know God and appreciate His church.  He does what is right but loves and forgives them when they don't and apologizes when he doesn't.

Luke says, "He has a true sense of integrity."

Being a daddy's girl, Hope sums up David perfectly, "He's able to come home and leave his stress at work and not make that come in the way of our family time.   And he always finds a way to make us laugh. And he's probably the most patient man I've met when it comes to our family :-)  He always goes out of his way at night to say goodnight to me, sends me a "have a good day" text every day and goes above and beyond to make sure we get what we need and maybe a little extra."

And leave it to James for brutal honesty, "I know I act like a jerk sometimes, but I know I could never appreciate all the work he has done for this family. And I know he'll forgive me because he's my dad and he loves me."

"Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." Proverbs 22:6

When I prayed for a spouse, I prayed for a man who loved kids and would be a good daddy, a good role model, and direct their path to God.  God gave me what I prayed for and more.  He gave me a man who loves his children more than himself. God provided a daddy whose devotion goes beyond the expected.  David gives them time, and from him, my children learn patience, sacrificial love, and the right path.   

Happy Father's Day,

Katy, Luke, Hope, and James

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

One Magnificent Rock

Being a nature lover, I flaunt endlessly over mountains, trees, flowers, and rocks, going crazy with the camera, and my kids give me a hard time about it.  "Wait, Mom has to take pictures of another tree.  Mom, those flowers look like the others.  Is nature all you're interested in?" Well, yes.

Traveling California in 1991, my dad accused me of using a new role of film for every tree or rock.  Guilty. But, I recently noticed two pages of the same scenery in his Yellowstone National Park vacation album.  "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."  In our defense, nature is worth documenting, and some places are simply too grand for a single picture, especially one too- magnificent-to-miss rock in California.

In the summer of 2014, I traveled with my husband and kids again to California and took full advantage of nature's grandeur along California's spectacular Pacific Coast Highway.  I planned this leg of the trip with picturesque stops in Santa Cruz, Monterey, Carmel, and Big Sur.  However, on our final day of exploring my favorite place on earth, Big Sur, my kids had seen enough.  "No more, Mom, please. We can't look at another rock."

After a few days in Los Angles, we traveled north again to the Sierra Nevada Mountains. I planned this two-day journey, too, so my kids knew there would be more NATURE.  "I guess we'll see more rocks."  Although not nearly as impressed as their mom, they enjoyed Kings Canyon National Park's hours of curves and breathtaking views. They took pictures and admitted it was worth seeing. 

Then, we drove to my second favorite place on earth, Yosemite National Park.  Driving through Yosemite, David and I promised them they'd love it at the top where we'd see the waterfall, El Capitan, and Half Dome. "More rocks? More trees? oh goodie," they remarked.  But, I'll never forget their faces when we reached Glacier Point, where the view is boulder after grand boulder. Then, the granddaddy of them all, Half Dome. They were awed and took almost as many pictures as I did (almost).

We saw incredible rocks along the Pacific coast and driving through Kings Canyon, but none compared to Half Dome.  It was worth the drive and the wait.  Yosemite was crowded and busy, hot and dry, and although my kids didn't care to see more rocks, they were glad we didn't miss what the Ahwahnechees originally called Tis-sa-ack, the name of a mother from native legend.

"You are my witnesses-is there any other God? No! There is no other Rock - not one." Isaiah 44:8

"He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:6

We live in a world of many inspirational resources with entire stores devoted to our faith, offering hundreds of books, DVDs and music.  We don't have to search far for a preacher, a pod-cast or website and have access to faith based radio stations and television.  We turn on our computers and find devotional blogs. 

But, there's only one Rock, one salvation.  Years ago, I felt proud of myself reading a faith based, then the author said -paraphrasing- if you're reading my words instead of God's Word, put this book down. YIKES. Preachers, blogs, books, DVDs are inspirational and make us think.  Hopefully, though, they lead us to travel further and search God's Word on our own and to a personal relationship with the One True Rock. 

What if all the inspirational material satisfied us and our preachers, radios, DVDs were the final destination? What if after reading a few faith based books, I say, "I've seen enough scripture," and never search, climb and discover God's Word on my own?  Often, Sunday's message and music are my final stop.  When I do travel further, though, this Rock offers more awe than I ever imagined.

Maybe life is dry, and you're tired but believe you've seen or heard enough preachers and read enough books or blogs about God.  Don't stop. Continue traveling alone through your own Bible and discover the One truly magnificent Rock, and be awed.

He's worth the time,

Katy

   

Earth Day: Formless and Void into Good

The third planet from the sun is approximately 200 million miles of constantly changing geography, EARTH. Before this constant change, Genesis 1:2 tells us the earth was formless, void, empty, or waste. The Message gives us a clearer picture. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. The Living Bible records the earth as a chaotic mess.

Picture the earth as bottomless, as nothing.  Picture the earth as a chaotic mess.  Then maybe, the next three words, God's Spirit hovered, will seem more miraculous. 

God's Spirit hovered and breathed life into nothingness.  God's Spirit hovered and breathed goodness, filling the emptiness. God's Spirit hovered and breathed color into inky blackness.

II'm a big fan of Before and After, and I definitely prefer God's After concerning Earth. Spring in Anderson, South Carolina is breathtaking, and I hope we fill it up on Earth Day with more color, more trees, more texture, more order and life.  Whatever we plant, it will be good.

For my own little earth, my yard, I also like the After.  Eighteen years ago, my house was lined with hedges, my lawn dotted with trees, and in between were large areas of nothing.

So, I started to work. I've spent seventeen years filling the nothing with trees, shrubs, and flowers, hoping for something good. My little earth is full of hits and misses, but I continue planting, changing, and growing for two reasons.

First, I absolutely love it.  It's a hobby. I enjoy the solitude and creating a beautiful garden spot from nothing.  What once were empty grassy areas are now filled with knock-out roses and Dutch iris.  Woods once displaying darkness are now lined with light giving pink and white azaleas and dogwoods.

Second, I have a plan.  If friends and neighbors are waiting on my yard to be complete in my lifetime, though, they'll be disappointed.  My plan is to always have a work in progress with many before and after sections.  I plant perennials in one spot but move them later.  Iris and canna lily will be moved this year as the sugar maple they're planted around finally becomes the shade tree I've longed for.  My Yoshino cherry has grown so much that there's no more grass, so I'm moving hardy "we don't care where you plant us" daylilies in the bare spots. These plants won't like the move at first, but I'll feed them until they adapt to the new space.  

 

In my head, I have a purpose and a picture for my little earth, but as long as I live here, it will never be complete. I enjoy spending time with my little earth too much to leave it as is. When storms or disease take away trees or shrubs, my little earth looks different, but my plan is still to make it good year after year.  Regardless of what happens geographically, I continue to dig, pull and plant.  Trees, shrubs and flowers continue to change and grow.  That's my plan.  It's what I love.

Spring is for planting. Many will plant on Earth Day. They have a plan, and that plan involves change and growth and good for their little earth.

Look around.  What was once nothingness is good, isn't it?

Now, look inside.  As God did for the earth, He also does for our souls.  Left on my own, I'm void.  Without His Spirit hovering, I'm bottomless and empty.  My soul without the Holy Spirit is a chaotic mess.  God's plan is to change me, to grow me, to make me good.  He knows what it looks like, so He feeds me and pulls out ugly, dangerous weeds. God moves me, and I feel uncomfortable for some time. Storms and disease come, but the Holy Spirit continues His work in progress for His good.

God loves His creation and has the power to miraculously take us, formless and empty, and breath order and continually form us and breath new life into us, never leaving us as is.

God has a plan, and in time, He will see that it is good,

Katy